So, I am very very very very close to having a new working draft of 99 Impossible Things that I am not completely and utterly embarrassed by. Close. Very close.
For those who may have been somewhat familiar with the first version – there’s been some larger changes, but overall the guts are the same. The 12 characters have been cut down to 9 – basically there are five original characters that I squished together to make two new ones, who serve the same purpose, really.
This is what producers like to call being “cost-effective.”
And this is precisely why I wanted to produce this play in the first place – a large cast play is financially cumbersome on theatres, particularly smaller venues, and with an economy such as the one we’re in now, the more cuts to the budget, the better.
So no one in their right mind would even consider producing 99 Impossible Things – at least that’s what I’m going to assume – so I’m skipping all the rejection letters and doing it myself.
That is, if I can finish this damn draft.
There is one monologue in the play that I have always been relatively proud of – mostly because it’s the strangest proclamation of love I’ve ever written. It’s definitely staying in the final version, we’ll just say this.
And here it is, as spoken by the character of ‘Paul’, an imaginary friend of another character ‘Casey’, to a young woman named ‘Lydia’, who, unfortunately, cannot see him:
You’re beautiful, you know that? No, you probably don’t know, do you? You have no idea. You know what you are to me? Who am I kidding, you don’t even know I exist. For that matter, I don’t even know if I exist. But I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you and you can’t tell Casey because he won’t like it. He won’t like that I’m saying it. You know what you are you me? You’re a…you’re a big jar of jelly. I’m actually really glad you can’t hear me because I sound like a complete idiot. Sorry, jelly is just the first thing that came to mind. But you know, when I think of jelly, I think of something that I could keep in my refrigerator for months or years and it would still be just as sweet as when I first bought it. Not that I’d like to keep you in a refrigerator but I mean there’s something strong about jelly, something that lasts, something that keeps its sweetness. Something I’d want to keep forever. And whatever that is reminds me of you. It sounds stupid, but you’re jelly.
Just a taste of more to come. Yeah, there are a lot of invisible characters in this show. Just to warn you. There’s also a monologue about Super Mario World. Don’t judge me.
I’ll finish the edits this week, send it off to various people and then the rest of that to-do list…