From the Slush Pile

me. every day.

So…they say, write what you know.  I get tied down, sometimes, by the belief that my life is rather uneventful and therefore not worth writing about, which is maybe why I started making up stories to begin with.  But, drawing from real events in my life over the past…well, a while…here are some ideas for things I should write in the near future.

Calls with Mother: a series of monologues

A story about a waitress who has to give the painful news to her patrons that the restaurant will no longer feature the marinara sauce on the menu.  Causes great havoc.  I’ll call it: MARINARA

The Day I Lost My Laundry, and Other Tragic Tales: an anthology about the little tragedies in life; the title story will be about a woman whose load of laundry gets stolen from a dryer.  “Marinara” might be featured in here as well.  And then maybe “Running the Red Light.”

What the Kettle Said: inanimate objects start talking to a man – but in their inanimate object language.  Po-pee-tweet?

Book of Lists: my day in list form

Don’t Fall in the Pool – why my stairway was cut from a horror film

Discontinued Ink Cartridges and the People Who Love Them

How to suffocate a cockroach that appeared in you bed – and other helpful advice

Suprising Apparel: apparently I should buy rain boots; leg warmers are actually useful (and stylish – sorta); leggings: the pros and cons; hats with useless zippers; underwear a size too big that I’m too lazy to return; the things that make me look fat; grandma sweaters; why jean jackets are awesome; and fingerless gloves (which I’m wearing while typing…RIGHT NOW!)

Why I want to give the world sweet things: confessions of a mediocre baker

Thoughts of an Office Worker: pure thoughts of an office worker in the last five minutes before they leave work, during which they can’t get anything productive done, yet cannot leave early.  Stream of consciousness.

Driving Through the Living Room: antics of a large Italian part of my family who I never met.

A Poke in the Knees: the adventures of taking an old woman into knee surgery.

Why I Can’t Be A Mother : 365 reasons

I think I’ll work on some of these.  More to come.

In the meantime, here’s something for new writers to be a little depressed about.  Maybe.

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